Monday, March 31, 2008

If....

If the tongue didn't have taste buds................

we wouldn't have to cook.
we wouldn't require a thousand spices.
we wouldn't consume bad fats, colours, processed foods, sugar, redmeat, rices.
there wouldn't be fast food chains
or restaurants
or parties
or ice creams
or chocolates
or cook books
or cooks
or food festivals
or food.
Ramsey wouldn't hound poor apprentices.
Yan Kan wouldn't cook.
Rachel Ray wouldn't shout so much (or is that asking too much?)
people wouldn't be obese.
there wouldn't be diet gurus
or liposuction
or intestinal bypass
or aspirin.
cholestrol and triglyceride wouldn't be so common.
cardiologists would get days off from work.
fisheries wouldn't be depleted.
birds wouldn't experience hell on factory farms.
birthdays wouldn't require cakes.
There would be no pepsi
so there would be no pepsi ads.
the khans and cricketers wouldn't get that income.
the ad world wouldn't have slogans like thanda matlab...
language wouldn't have some priceless idioms
like ' you can't have your cake and eat it too'
or 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating'
or delightful neologisms like eye'candy'
or delhi belly.
smart alexis, me, wouldn't be calling the taste buds a mixed curse
or calamity in disguise.

So what am I trying to do??

I am trying to plan a lesson on conditional clauses.
But I would really like it if I didn't have to cook.

9 comments:

crazyBugga said...

and pray, what are these "conditional clauses" that one has written of?

i presume they are a figment of ur vivid imagination?

atomicgitten said...

MaterialMom, I think you need a vacation. All that teaching and question-paper making is getting to you. Why don't you relax over the stove while cooking dinner ? :D

anusha said...

:) ..... ha ha .....

by the by ... whats for dinner??n now that you mention it .. am hungry ... :D

Materialmom said...

Hi cB. Conditionals are those clauses that begin with 'If...' ('clauses' in grammar, not Santa) Tsk tsk what were u doin in ur eng classes?

Hi Atomica, a vacation is a gr8 idea. but please not the kitchen!!!

Hi Anusha, thanx 4 stopping by. if u really want to know, it's dosas tonight and almost every night

Mr. Poplatho said...

If my tongue couldnt taste... Id have my 6 pac by now... :-D Err... Actually i still do but its disguised.
- Mr.Poplatho
Thanks for stopping by. No im not a girl. You must comment on the next article thats to come up on Complimenting women.

vaish said...

AAAghhh!!! Nightmare nightmare nightmare!!!! I mean the no tastebuds idea.

Materialmom said...

just wait till you have to cook on a daily basis... Now That's a nightmare

vaish said...

That will indeed be a nightmare to the people whose head i'm gonna hold a gun to and force them to eat!

Materialmom said...

hahaha :)