Friday, December 27, 2013

Pointers to Oriya Boy- Part Two

I've been asked by my loyal readers reader to write the second installment of pointers to Oriya boys engaged to marry Mallu girls ( and if you didn't guess it still - the girl in question is my offspring and the boy, my future son-in-law). I have also been warned by well wishers to be dignified and behave myself like a good m-i-l should. So there is a sort of clash happening - and I need to be watchful of myself. However, I feel fairly secure in the knowledge that the protagonist of this post will never read it :)

I had promised a module on tact, but that can keep.Today I will offer tips on giving her gifts.

Before I start with that, I must mention the way she does things for the people she loves. 'Out of her way' wouldn't begin to describe the trouble she takes or the thought that goes over each of her presents. She recalls what you had mentioned at some point of time, studies your life and personality, checks your background, enlists the help of your friends/ relatives, gets to know your likes and fetishes... before she plans the gift for you. The gift itself would be unique. She would never go for something picked up off hand at a store. She would have to comb through online options, trudge through quaint streets to find the absolute fitting thing for you. And if she doesn't, then she'll simply get down to making it herself. And she will walk to the parcel place, wherever that is, and send it to you with a hand written note (no, not a printed card- that won't do at all). For all you know, she might even land up on your doorstep, gift in hand.

So don't even try to compete with her. Nor can you compete with her father, who owns her love and loyalty even though he may give her jelly beans (a chilhood favourite that she has long outgrown) or the latest cell phone (which she is not really hankering after) .

But be not disheartened. For such a stickler in gift giving, she is a ridiculously easy-to-please receiver. Her only concern is the genuine feeling behind the giving. And what puts her off is showing affection without meaning it. If she gets mad, life can turn quite miserable - for you.  It is so much easier to get presents for girls than for boys. And she does have a weakness for certain things. I  shall mention the a few:

1. Pens. You heard right. She just cannot resist them. She prefers fountain pens (do they still make them?). Even gel pens, felt tipped ones, fine points, multi coloured ink ones - all make her eyes light up. Her collection includes those that she used in school.

2. Books. Poetry, stories, comics, biographies, travelogues, philosophy, cooking...... Just keep your eyes and ears open, for the writers that interest her. Don't seek the help of best seller list in magazines or newspaper supplements, but get her to talk - not very difficult, that ;)  I don't think she would appreciate self help literature or business stuff. But it is lovely to get books for one who loves reading - you can keep getting her books, and she will melt to mush every time.

3. Books. As in notebooks.  Yeah, I know it sounds funny, but she loves those beautiful notebooks you get nowadays. She admires them, touches and smells them, but won't buy as they are more expensive than she would want a notebook to be.

4. Dark chocolate. Though you'll have to find out the percentage of dark - she won't want the all bitter variety and the too sweet one would not be perfect.

5. Gifts made by you. This may sound impossible, but they are not. All you need to do is take all the things she loves, say photographs of the people in her life or the songs she loves, and put them all together in a collage. She does get sentimental about stuff like that.

6. Your time. It is inevitable that over time, a couple takes each other for granted, the novelty begins to wear. Other priorities like career or kids consume your time and attention, pulling you away from each other. So it is essential to make time to be together and take the effort to make those moments memorable. Whether they be planned or spontaneous, spent in serious talk or flippant fun, at home or a fancy place, the time together must be spent in mutual love and respect, even though you may find many irritating things in her and she in you. Gift her those enjoyable moments.

Hmmm ... I think I got a bit serious there. Anyway, whatever you give her with love, she will appreciate it and express her appreciation openly and thank you so profusely that you will have to ask her to shut up. But that's just the way she is. So don't you go thinking you are the greatest gift giver of them all. Never be complacent. Find, create, explore new ways to please her give her gifts.

I had concerns about posting this, it being of so personal a nature. But there is a general feeling that if you give a woman jewellery, you can make her happy. If nothing, this post will educate the ignorant that there are better ways to get to a woman's heart. It may not be the easiest way, for a man has to truly understand his partner to know how to make her happy.And all men are not lucky enough to have a mother-in-law doling out helpful hints.

Having said that, let me add that emeralds or rubies would make great gifts - she has already got diamonds :D



AtomicGitten said...

We need to have a small chat, you and I.

Materialmom said...

I can't imagine what that could be about.wadididowrong?