The following are utterances that were unintentionally humorous. Besides being erroneous, they offer the mind absurd images. Correcting them would be sinful!
(sharing a recipe) '.... then you chop the onions and smash the potatoes.'
'....add the chopped tomatoes and caspicum.'
'There is a force is There.' (a physics teacher long ago)
'Anu, you became so darky, you were so fairy.' (A North Indian relative.)
(Sitting down at the dining table) 'mmmm .... food! I am ravishing!'
'Bejaavo! Bejaavo!' (the P.E teacher who got locked in the gym. Mallu, of course.)
'I talking. He talking. Why you middle middle talking?' (another P.E teacher from another S.Indian state.)
'Kuch kuch hota hein.' ( My good friend, a Hindi-disabled physics teacher, looking into the eyes of the hindi speaking electrician, trying to explain that something weird happened each time some equipment was switched on)
'I am sure we will have good mammaries that we will go to and go back to.' (from a speech at a seminar)
'Her penis lost.' (from a student's note book.)
'The Nair families of Kerala followed the matriarchal system.' (a goal at my own post)